Noah’s Narrative

Noah Robinson, Former Assistant Editor-in-Chief

 

I have to be honest, I didn’t think the day would come when I would be kicked out of the newspaper staff and be forced to train my replacement. Thanks, Obama.

Now, to be fair, I’m fairly confident that the newspaper will be left in good hands to my replacement, Delaney Jackson, along with her superior, Colton Robertson. In particular, I have the utmost trust that they will continue our tradition of liberal bias next year, the one thing that we put a high priority on in room 913.

I like to think that the senior editors will also be leaving a lasting, positive legacy through some of the important events and issues we have covered over the last few years on this staff. These include whether or not Ted Cruz really is the Zodiac Killer, the untold truths about the vegan culture, and the newly-discovered train of thought that humans should be nice to each other. Our coverage of these stories has been unmatched and there is no group of homo sapiens more fit to continue this reign of excellence than the ones leading next year’s staff.

Being on the newspaper staff for the last three years has no doubt been a quality time for me. It has created several friendships that otherwise would not have existed. It got me a trip to Los Angeles for the journalism convention (at least that’s what we told the administrators), along with donuts in the mornings on several occasions and an opportunity to fill the honorable role of the Dwight Schrute of the newspaper staff. I’ll leave the newspaper room with mostly satisfying memories and I can’t wait to watch next year’s staff burn this place to the ground.

It’s probably time for me to be wrapping this thing up so I’ll think of one last thing to type here.

Okay I’m done thinking.

Goodbye South, it’s been a weird time.