Adult expectations are too high

Delaney Jackson, Assistant Editor-in-Chief

Teenagers have a lot of stress and pressure put on them from nearly everyone in their lives.

All teenagers have pressure on them. The pressure their parents put on them, coaches, bosses, friends, and more. For me, on a typical day I wake up and am expected to go to school, where teachers expect me to stay awake and alert through all seven of my classes, and my parents expect me to have good grades. Right after school I go to diving practice, where I am expected by my coach to put forth effort, and then straight after practice I go to work where I am expected by my boss to do my job well. By the time I get home, it is 9 O’clock at night and I have to shower and begin my homework for the night. By the time I finish it is around 1am, and then I sleep for roughly five hours and start the day over again. That is the typical day, not including when I have newspaper or yearbook deadline to try and fit in after school, a meet for diving to add, or I need to stay after school to get help. The stress everyone has put on me has become beyond overwhelming, and nearly impossible to deal with, and I know it is the same way for many people.

Adults need to realize that they are not the only ones that expect things of us. For example, I have heard numerous times from teachers “I ONLY give about 15-20 minutes of homework in my class.” While that may not seem like a lot, let’s do the math. If you have seven classes, and you have 15-20 minutes of homework in each class, that is about 140 minutes of homework, or two and a half hours. That’s also the average, that’s not including if you have AP or dual credit classes. I have taken both AP and dual credit classes, and I can attest to the fact that there will be nights you have up to three hours of homework just for that class alone. The expectations that teachers have for their students not only inside the classroom but outside of the classroom are tremendous, and that alone is enough to overwhelm someone.

The next expectations I will talk about is the expectations parents set for their children. The expectations to have good grades, be involved in extra activities, have a job, applications for colleges and scholarships, and so many more things. On top of that, they expect you to hang out with friends and have a social life, and if you don’t they get concerned. They also expect you to spend time with them, and get disappointed if you say you can’t. There have been times my mom has asked me to go to dinner or something, and I really wanted to, but I couldn’t because I had so many other things to do. I don’t think it is right to have to prioritize school, your job, or anything above your family, but I often have to in order to maintain the high expectations that have been set for me. If any parent is reading this story, I ask for you to evaluate what all your kid has going on in their lives, and put yourself in their shoes. So the next time you get mad at them for not being able to eat dinner with you, or make fun of them for staying home on a weekend to study instead of going out with their friends, remember that they are just trying to live up to the expectations placed on them.

Another pressure that a lot of people overlook is the pressure of friends. Friends can put a lot of pressur on you to hang out, or be availabale to text them 24/7, and many more things, and if you don’t hang out with them or respond within an hour they get annoyed or angry with you. If you have a friend that is involved in a lot of things, remember that they cannot be available to you all the time. They will do their best to make time for you, but sometimes it is extremely difficult to do so. Just be there for them while they deal with the stress, and don’t add onto it.

A lot of people know I am involved in a lot of things, and I often get asked the question “How do you handle all of it?” The answer is: I don’t. Honestly, I am constantly overwhelmed by everything going on in my life, and I think a lot of teenagers can relate to that. My only advice I could give to someone struggling to handle all of it is to set expectations for yourself, do not just do everyone else’s expectations. Figure out what you expect of yourself, and then live up to those expectations, and prioritize those above everyone else’s. However, don’t just add self expectations and not take away some of the expectations of others, all that will do is add pressure to yourself that isn’t completely necessary.

Another thing that can help deal with the stress is to do things you actually enjoy. If you’re doing a ton of things you don’t enjoy, you won’t have the motivation to do it, and in result you will dread doing it even more since you don’t want to. If you enjoy the things you are doing, it may seem overwhelming still, but at least you have the thoughts of “It’s okay becasuse this is something I like doing.” If you are just being forced to do something because someone else is making you, it will seem 100x worse. Doing things you enjoy will help you remain positive throughout the stress, instead of just being negative because you don’t even like whatever it  is you’re doing.

Teenagers have a tremendous amount of stress put on them from nearly everyone in their lives. I don’t see that changing in the near future, so I won’t ask anyone to change what they’re doing. Instead, I ask for anyone getting frustrated with teenagers and them complaining about being stressed or them not having time to hang out, to remember all of the pressure they have on them and the expectations they are trying their best to live up to, and simply understand what they are dealing with and that they’re doing their best.