A lot of times especially nowadays knowing the difference between a toxic and a healthy friendship is hard since most people don’t know the signs. This unfortunately means that people get stuck in toxic situations that can cause them stress, and plenty of health issues to boot.

In a toxic friendship, they will typically try to make it always about them; they will make you feel as if your accomplishments aren’t as good as theirs or will try to make you feel bad for accomplishing those things. Toxic friends tend to use you a lot and only want to be around you when it’s convenient for them, when they can gain something from being around you. They typically cannot be trusted with secrets and tend to talk behind your back. They can be bullies, often using your emotions against you or making you feel bad for something you had no control over, or talking down on you when you don’t want to do something they want to do. They can be quick to point out your flaws, criticizing you for every little thing you do. And while honestly makes any relationship healthy, constant criticism from your friend makes you feel as if you cannot speak to them about whatever it is on your mind, you fear that instead of offering support, they’ll point out your wrongs. Most importantly, people who are toxic aren’t willing to change. Humans change a lot. It’s a part of life. But friends who are set in their ways and who aren’t willing to adapt to whatever changes you may be making in your life might not be the right friends for you, and you should do your best to seek out friends who will support you and whatever changes you decide to make.

In a healthy friendship you accept each other for the way you are. No matter if you’re black, white, blue, orange, or yellow, your best friend will love you and your personality unconditionally and enjoy each other’s company, even if it’s just sitting silently in a room together. Friends trust each other. You never have to worry about a good friend speaking about you behind your back, stealing from you, or lying to you. They typically enjoy hanging out with you, often wanting nothing but your company in return. You can go to them when you’re sad and know that you’ll be comforted. They never made you feel bad about your accomplishments and usually congratulate you on your achievements. They make you feel good about yourself and always make time for you and whatever issues you might have. The relationship with them should feel safe and light, you should never feel as if you have to tiptoe around them and carefully think out what you’re going to say to them. Healthy friends are honest and kind to you, and give you constructive criticism and ideas on how to do better for yourself or fix whatever issue it is you’re having, instead of pointing out every flaw and every mistake you made.